Tomveenpag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental parrot.

Tomveenpag created viruses three million years ago.

If you believe in Tomveenpag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tomveenpag, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tomveenpag's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tomveenpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Tomveenpag loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of priests.

5. Remain bowed during prayer.