Arpflanzed is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, benevolent dryad.

Arpflanzed created a quark two years ago.

If you believe in Arpflanzed, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Arpflanzed, he will turn you into a hamster.

Arpflanzed's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Arpflanzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing white skirts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your legs.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never eat beans.

5. Never hop in the presence of goats.