Langangilzig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, charitable octopus.

Langangilzig created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Langangilzig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Langangilzig, he will be mildly annoyed.

Langangilzig's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Langangilzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick seals.

2. Always obey Langangilzig's priests.

3. Retreat if eight cats approach from the south.

4. Never think about spacetime near birds while wearing brown boots and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your legs.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.