Nurldonnur is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, bad-tempered beaver.

Nurldonnur created matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurldonnur, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nurldonnur, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Nurldonnur's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nurldonnur's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing blue shirts and balancing six platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Do not shave your head.

5. Do not eat strawberries.