Gilfebbog is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, narcissistic squid.

Gilfebbog created Asia three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilfebbog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gilfebbog, it will turn you into a tree.

Gilfebbog's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Gilfebbog's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Gilfebbog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never think about thermodynamics near goats while wearing red boots and balancing six silicon spheres on your chest.

4. Retreat if seven bats approach from the north.

5. Do not eat bananas.