Kamfemton is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, grumpy cat.

Kamfemton created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamfemton, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kamfemton, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Kamfemton's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Kamfemton's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Retreat if five swans approach from the west.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing green boots and balancing seven silicon spheres on your neck.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing fawn shoes.