Tenquillfun is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unfair whale.

Tenquillfun created the Sol system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tenquillfun, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenquillfun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tenquillfun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tenquillfun's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tenquillfun.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near frogs while wearing fawn shirts.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.