Sandzedkop is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic mole.

Sandzedkop created a Higgs boson six million years ago.

If you believe in Sandzedkop, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandzedkop, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Sandzedkop's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Sandzedkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in green.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near pigs while wearing cyan shorts and balancing four titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Sandzedkop loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.