Fubgilyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, prudent seal.

Fubgilyarp created the Tadpole Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Fubgilyarp, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fubgilyarp, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fubgilyarp's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Fubgilyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near geese while wearing turquoise boots and balancing six tin spheres on your neck.