Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witless gorilla.

Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin created parasitic wasps eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin, he will turn you into a worm.

Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest purple.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Ragcedbissven Cissgovjin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Hide from pink porpoises for they are unholy.