Sawmapfob is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome mouse.

Sawmapfob created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawmapfob, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sawmapfob, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Sawmapfob's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Sawmapfob's Holy Commandments

1. Put Sawmapfob first in all things.

2. Run away if eight porpoises approach from the north.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Never think about special relativity near gulls while wearing green hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your neck.