Janjenbam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, selfish dog.

Janjenbam created the Sombrero Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Janjenbam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Janjenbam, she will not invite you to parties.

Janjenbam's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Janjenbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Never write about dark matter.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near badgers while wearing mauve rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your chest.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not kill swans.