Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, boastful hamster.

Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap, she will turn you into a dog.

Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must love Kikbarndim Cadcumgigmabtabingflyflap.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about fire.