Bisshanquag is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, moody badger.

Bisshanquag created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Bisshanquag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bisshanquag, it will turn you into a worm.

Bisshanquag's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Bisshanquag's Holy Commandments

1. Bisshanquag loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never feed peas to nematodes while wearing gray corsets.

5. Do not take Bisshanquag's name in vain.