Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, temperamental capybara.

Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap created everything that exists three million years ago.

If you believe in Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Gedstipjap Spaglimtof Joprutrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never think about cell theory.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.