Gomvinzed is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fussy parrot.

Gomvinzed created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomvinzed, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gomvinzed, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gomvinzed's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Gomvinzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing green hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Never wear white jumpers.

5. Never wear scarves.