Bogfagvonk is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awesome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bogfagvonk created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogfagvonk, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bogfagvonk, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bogfagvonk's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bogfagvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine porpoises approach from the west.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bogfagvonk on top of all buildings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not wear white clothing.