Baffabpag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic hyena.

Baffabpag created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Baffabpag, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Baffabpag, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Baffabpag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Baffabpag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Run away if six ducks approach from the north.

3. Never talk about manatees.

4. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Baffabpag in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not kill capybaras.