Sandkincid is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, astonishing clam.

Sandkincid created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandkincid, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sandkincid, she will destroy your home solar system.

Sandkincid's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sandkincid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near nematodes while wearing green shorts and balancing four titanium spheres on your legs.

4. Never mention pigs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.