Cimzigtonk Quambegmil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, flying wyvern.

Cimzigtonk Quambegmil created everything that exists nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cimzigtonk Quambegmil, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cimzigtonk Quambegmil, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cimzigtonk Quambegmil's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cimzigtonk Quambegmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Never sprint in the presence of cats.

5. Never mention aardvarks.