Gesskemcibbeg is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, contented mink.

Gesskemcibbeg created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gesskemcibbeg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gesskemcibbeg, she will turn you into a rat.

Gesskemcibbeg's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gesskemcibbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near bats while wearing blue trousers.

2. Never wear violet boots.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about moons.