Bagguncamlad Geplambambat is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered spider.

Bagguncamlad Geplambambat created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagguncamlad Geplambambat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bagguncamlad Geplambambat, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bagguncamlad Geplambambat's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Bagguncamlad Geplambambat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Feed all hungry seals.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.
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