Mabratnel is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving porpoise.

Mabratnel created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mabratnel, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mabratnel, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Mabratnel's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Mabratnel's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Mabratnel in the centre of the settlement.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.