Rotbastbumfat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy fly.

Rotbastbumfat created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotbastbumfat, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rotbastbumfat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Rotbastbumfat's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Rotbastbumfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Rotbastbumfat.

5. Always help dolphins.