Fonflaptan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, resourceful parrot.

Fonflaptan created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonflaptan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonflaptan, it will turn you into a duck.

Fonflaptan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fonflaptan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near dogs while wearing magenta trousers.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fonflaptan.