Dosswatken is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, witless unicorn.

Dosswatken created viruses seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dosswatken, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dosswatken, it will turn you into a mouse.

Dosswatken's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dosswatken's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near turtles while wearing yellow dresses and balancing seven gold spheres on your face.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never wear blue shoes.