Bestjonfon is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, fast narwhal.

Bestjonfon created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestjonfon, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bestjonfon, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Bestjonfon's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bestjonfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about sharks.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Do not covet oxen.