Litlargbass is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, stupid eagle.

Litlargbass created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Litlargbass, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Litlargbass, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Litlargbass' most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Litlargbass' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. You must love Litlargbass.

3. Retreat if five manatees approach from the north.

4. Always help gulls.

5. Do not shave your head.