Cetjoplap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unfair hummingbird.

Cetjoplap created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Cetjoplap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cetjoplap, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Cetjoplap's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Cetjoplap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Never hurt cats.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never mention gulls.