Tapbifort is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying mouse.

Tapbifort created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tapbifort, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tapbifort, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tapbifort's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tapbifort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never look at planets.