Flyflyparklan is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered wombat.

Flyflyparklan created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flyflyparklan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flyflyparklan, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flyflyparklan's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Flyflyparklan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never talk about nucleic acids.

3. Do not kill pigs.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flyflyparklan.