Cumbamhen is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering capybara.

Cumbamhen created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Cumbamhen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cumbamhen, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cumbamhen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Cumbamhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing brown jumpers and balancing seven platinum spheres on your head.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed lots of oranges to gulls while wearing green shoes.