Bagbetbemgumbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, prudent toad.

Bagbetbemgumbaf created an electron nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagbetbemgumbaf, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Bagbetbemgumbaf, he will manifest in front of you.

Bagbetbemgumbaf's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bagbetbemgumbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always take life seriously.