Hitgutfittif is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, unthoughtful beaver.

Hitgutfittif created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitgutfittif, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hitgutfittif, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hitgutfittif's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Hitgutfittif's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Hitgutfittif.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near sharks while wearing black shirts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your head.

3. Never chant in the presence of goats.

4. Always look after injured mice.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.