Quafgablarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, unfair lion.

Quafgablarp created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafgablarp, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Quafgablarp, she will destroy your home planet.

Quafgablarp's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Quafgablarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

4. Always help monkeys.

5. You must love Quafgablarp.