Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, flying guinea pig.

Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil created the universe twelve years ago.

If you believe in Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil, he will destroy your home planet.

Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Homgodcet Satflyrat Lagvonkmil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about special relativity near ducks while wearing red coats.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not hurt pigs.