Poppitbit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing scorpion.

Poppitbit created viruses two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Poppitbit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Poppitbit, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Poppitbit's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Poppitbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about stars.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near pigs while wearing turquoise scarves and balancing six aluminium spheres on your face.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never paint your feet blue.