Padxuckfat is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, bad-tempered coyote.

Padxuckfat created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Padxuckfat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Padxuckfat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Padxuckfat's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Padxuckfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near moths while wearing red hats and balancing five silicon spheres on your back.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not keep seven voles in a large pit.

4. Never think about quantum field theory.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.