Sanlaparf is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, impressive bat.

Sanlaparf created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanlaparf, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sanlaparf, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Sanlaparf's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Sanlaparf's Holy Commandments

1. Sanlaparf loves ants, so they must be honoured.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about spacetime near shrews while wearing pink stockings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your chest.

4. Worship no other gods but Sanlaparf.

5. Always help sick seals.