Narlgetmon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, able narwhal.

Narlgetmon created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlgetmon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Narlgetmon, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Narlgetmon's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Narlgetmon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near geese while wearing red stockings and balancing nine carbon spheres on your chest.

2. You must love Narlgetmon.

3. Narlgetmon loves snakes, so they must be respected.

4. Hide from cyan cats for they are unholy.

5. Never mention tortoises.