Jipfidcid is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, conceited tapir.

Jipfidcid created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipfidcid, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jipfidcid, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jipfidcid's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Jipfidcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gray clothing.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must pray to Jipfidcid seven times a day.

4. Never talk about quantum mechanics near shrews while wearing fawn rings.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.