Tondisspondud Flapwotpon is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witless zebra.

Tondisspondud Flapwotpon created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tondisspondud Flapwotpon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tondisspondud Flapwotpon, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Tondisspondud Flapwotpon's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Tondisspondud Flapwotpon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Hide if nine swans approach from the south.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.