Dograpdut is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, grumpy monkey.

Dograpdut created the planet Saturn eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dograpdut, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dograpdut, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dograpdut's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Dograpdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to otters while wearing dresses.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Dograpdut.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never wear black stockings.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.