Sogkomster is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical tortoise.

Sogkomster created the planet Saturn eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sogkomster, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sogkomster, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sogkomster's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Sogkomster's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sogkomster.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Sogkomster.

4. Do not take Sogkomster's name in vain.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.