Jarnfomfob is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, almighty skunk.

Jarnfomfob created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnfomfob, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jarnfomfob, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jarnfomfob's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Jarnfomfob's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three porpoises approach from the north.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never play with disobedient children.