Flanyarlweg is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, merciless gerbil.

Flanyarlweg created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Flanyarlweg, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flanyarlweg, he will try to impress you with trees.

Flanyarlweg's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flanyarlweg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chant in public.

2. Never think about dark energy.

3. Do not hurt doves.

4. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near swans while wearing cyan corsets and balancing seven silicon spheres on your face.