Japfaswot is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, happy walrus.

Japfaswot created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Japfaswot, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Japfaswot, he will turn you into a tree.

Japfaswot's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Japfaswot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never think ill of sick great tits.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.