Fitveendad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, competent dingo.

Fitveendad created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Fitveendad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fitveendad, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Fitveendad's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Fitveendad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never skip in the presence of grasshopers.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never wear kilts.