Niltifyakjinomtflytif is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, charitable bear.

Niltifyakjinomtflytif created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Niltifyakjinomtflytif, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Niltifyakjinomtflytif, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Niltifyakjinomtflytif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Niltifyakjinomtflytif's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing purple boots and balancing four zinc spheres on your chest.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must love Niltifyakjinomtflytif.