Kenyatdud is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable tapir.

Kenyatdud created time and space eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kenyatdud, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kenyatdud, he will send minions to preach to you.

Kenyatdud's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Kenyatdud's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kenyatdud.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near snakes while wearing red jumpers and balancing four silicon spheres on your hands.