Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic guinea pig.

Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Cibtomgadyam Badhatdissgun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about optics near pigs while wearing violet hats and balancing six tin spheres on your chest.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.